What is that magic spark that every so often ignites a passion within us and drives us to pursue and fixate on an indulgence, a  hobby, a pastime, an activity, a person, an idea, a song, a belief, a just cause?

 

I know that I can get quite passionate about ideas, beliefs, aspirations, and goals.  In fact, on some topics my passion sometimes borders on zealotry.  But even with this great fire, I have scarcely been able to heat even a casual interest in certain other areas of my life.  I have been unable to foster a love for some certain activities that I see so many others enjoy.  Activities such as sports, mountain pursuits, trivia, fashions, fads (eg. poker), TV sports like hockey (blasphemy), football, baseball or the like.

 

Also, I could care less what Jen & Ben or Brad & Angelina or any of the other "Hollywood set" are doing at this or that moment of their life.  I can't seem to bring myself like so many others to care or fantasize about what it would be like to be them, or be with them, or around them.  I cannot seem to indulge any of my own fantasies of "living the high life" by vicarious living through theirs.  What they do and how they live just doesn't seem to matter to me all that much.  I wish I could be more into this stuff because at times I think it distances me from friends with whom I wish I could be closer.

 

Contrast this with one phone call from a friend telling me how he just coded up a novel new solution to solve a difficult computing problem, or another friend who tells me about her new car, or another who has just managed to get a signed offer on the sale of his house, or from another who has just placed an order for that flat-panel television he's had his eye on for several months and I find myself "on the edge of giddy".  I get genuinely happy for others when they realize their goals and dreams and I see them happy.  I somehow get wrapped up in the whole thing and feel very much involved; like somehow I'm sharing in this little bit of good news and my fortunes are prospering with theirs; that "this" is happening not just to them, but to "us", and though it is by no means a noteworthy accomplishment, I am nonetheless proud of myself for this.

 

 

You know, I think a lot about "us".  I am very much an "us" person.  I believe in teamwork, I believe in cooperation, unity, and harmony.  I believe in the idea that "the whole" can be much greater than "the sum of its parts."  I believe in trust and goodwill.  And it is these collective beliefs and the hope in others and in life that they instill in me that sometimes clouds my better judgement and aids in the repetition of the same mistakes over and over in my life.  Experience can be a great teacher and it  has taught me many things, but in this respect it has failed dismally in instilling in me the lesson of not getting screwed by those who do not know the meaning of "us".  Yes, it may come as a surprise to you reading this, but not all people believe in cooperation, reciprocation, the golden rule, or kindness for kindness.  Nay, indeed, there is a cross-section of society -- a wreckless, shortsighted, treacherous, and cruel segment of the population -- that believes that life is an "every man for himself" proposition and that kindness is weakness that ought to be exploited.  These destructive attitudes are illuminated below by a common adage interpreted here -- because that's the way I wanted it -- in parable form...

 

 

This may be fine if we indeed assume that there is in fact a lamb and a wolf in our story.  But, what if this is not the case?  What happens in a lamb eat lamb world?  what happens when even others in the flock -- others who have the same vulnerabilities and stand to benefit from solidarity and mutual trust -- can no longer be trusted and it is no longer only the wolves who pray* to sink their teeth in your hide?  What then?  What do real lambs do in the treacherous reality of new lambdom?  I wish I had an answer for this.  I am still trying to figure it all out.

 

*: homonymy intended