Klatu verata niktu: Humour

Folk Song: "Ted Haggard is Completely Heterosexual"

Thu, 17 May 2007 23:59:05 GMT

Roy Zimmerman has a lot of these funny folk songs. I particularly found this one amusing, and thought I'd share it with whomever is still visiting this space.

Haggard admits to buying meth from his male prostitute

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 04:32:49 GMT

Well known Born-Again Christian Evangelist and reknowned gay-basher Ted Haggard has finally cut the bullshit and straight up admitted that he bought Meth from his male prostitute. The man alleges that Ted, who went by the name Art -- Haggard's middle name, has been seeing him for sex and drugs for the past three years. Seems like a fitting end to the career of a man who's been 'working diligently to stamp out the scourge of homosexuality.'

A year ago Ted Haggard said 'Heaven is only for born-again Christians.' Some of us are wondering if there is some place with higher standards.

Does it seem curious to anyone else that the ones who seem to make the most noise are usually also the ones with the most to hide? But don't give up on the ol' boy yet. I'm sure Teddy will be back in a couple of years claiming that he is cured of his demons and that it was all a test of faith by God.

Weird Al Yankovic does it again... this is funny stuff

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 13:59:39 GMT

Check out his new "White and Nerdy" video on his MySpace blog

http://www.myspace.com/weirdal

Ummm... no comment

Mon, 27 Feb 2006 03:16:32 GMT

I could write a lot about this, but I think I'll just post the pics and let you use your imagination. Suffice it to say that I had a spot of the stuff in London on a prior trip and had the forethought to bring back a can or two.

Pay some attention to the nutritional information on this stuff. Look at the calories per serving... I hear NASA is going to start using it to propel the solid rocket boosters.

'Beer goggles' effect explained

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 13:53:57 GMT

(I saw this on BBC News UK and couldn't resist posting here)

'Beer goggles' effect explained

Alcohol is not the only factor in the beer goggles formula

Scientists believe they have worked out a formula to calculate how "beer goggles" affect a drinker's vision.

The drink-fuelled phenomenon is said to transform supposedly "ugly" people into beauties - until the morning after.

Researchers at Manchester University say while beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder, the amount of alcohol consumed is not the only factor.

Additional factors include the level of light in the pub or club, the drinker's own eyesight and the room's smokiness.

The distance between two people is also a factor.

KEY TO FORMULA

An = number of units of alcohol consumed

S = smokiness of the room (graded from 0-10, where 0 clear air; 10 extremely smoky)

L = luminance of 'person of interest' (candelas per square metre; typically 1 pitch black; 150 as seen in normal room lighting)

Vo = Snellen visual acuity (6/6 normal; 6/12 just meets driving standard)

d = distance from 'person of interest' (metres; 0.5 to 3 metres)

They all add up to make the aesthetically-challenged more attractive, according to the formula.

The formula can work out a final score, ranging from less than one - where there is no beer goggle effect - to more than 100.

Nathan Efron, Professor of Clinical Optometry at the University of Manchester, said: "The beer goggles effect isn't solely dependent on how much alcohol a person consumes, there are other influencing factors at play too.

"For example, someone with normal vision, who has consumed five pints of beer and views a person 1.5 metres away in a fairly smoky and poorly lit room, will score 55, which means they would suffer from a moderate beer goggle effect."

The research was commissioned by eyecare firm Bausch & Lomb PureVision.

A poll showed that 68% of people had regretted giving their phone number to someone to whom they later realised they were not attracted.

A formula rating of less than one means no effect. Between one and 50 the person you would normally find unattractive appears less "visually offensive".

Non-appealing people become suddenly attractive between 51 and 100. At more than 100, someone not considered attractive looks like a super model.

(Article Courtesy of BBC news media)

Solidarity

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 02:57:23 GMT

To my posteriorly tufted brethren around the world...

Love & Respect

(for more information on the struggle, read the longest comment on this post)

World's shortest fairy tale...

Sat, 10 Sep 2005 12:51:25 GMT

I found this while surfing and had a nice chuckle; thought I'd share it with you...

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"

The girl said, "NO!"

And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and farted whenever he wanted.